Fist & Smile: A Guide to Fisting for All Genders

A couple of years ago, we at The Code had the opportunity to create a fashion show at Torture Garden Berlin, hosted at Metropol Berlin. As always, we wanted to push boundaries, break stigmas, and show exactly who we are. But this time, we wanted to take things further. We didn't just want to present fashion-we wanted to legitimize all acts of sexuality, as long as they are based on consent and mutual pleasure.

So, alongside the catwalk and the strippers, we decided to do something no one expected: a live fisting show-two beautiful guys on stage, in front of everyone. It was a statement, a celebration of sex positivity, and a challenge to the idea that certain acts should remain hidden. We wanted to remind people that pleasure has no limits when approached with care, consent, and enthusiasm.

That's why we're bringing you this guide: Fist & Smile. Whether you're curious, experienced, or just want to learn more, this guide will walk you through the essentials of safe, consensual, and pleasurable fisting.

 

Breaking the Myths: What Fisting Really Is

Before we get into the technique, let's clear up some common misconceptions:

"Fisting is painful." Not if done correctly! Pain happens when there's a lack of communication, patience, or preparation. With enough lube, relaxation, and trust, fisting can be pleasurable and even euphoric.

"It's only for extreme kinksters." While fisting is common in BDSM circles, it's not limited to them. Many people explore it for the intense pleasure, intimacy, and deeper sensations it can bring.

"Only certain bodies can handle it." Every body is different, but the body is capable of stretching safely over time. Vaginal and anal fisting are both possible with the right approach.

 

Preparation: The Key to a Good Fisting Experience

1. Consent & Communication

Fisting is not something to rush into-clear, honest, and enthusiastic consent is essential.

Discuss boundaries, expectations, and safe words before you begin.

Check in throughout the experience-body language and verbal cues matter.

2. Hygiene & Safety

Trim and file nails to prevent scratches.

Wash hands thoroughly and consider using latex or nitrile gloves for extra safety.

If engaging in anal fisting, ensure proper hygiene with cleaning and preparation.

3. Lubrication-And Lots of It

Regular lube won't cut it-a thick, long-lasting water- or silicone-based lube is best.

Apply generously to both the giver's hand and the receiver's body.

Reapply as needed-there's no such thing as too much lube!

4. Relaxation & Warm-Up

The body needs time to adjust, so start slow.

Warm up with fingers, toys, or other forms of play to encourage muscle relaxation.

Breathing techniques help ease tension-deep breaths can make the process smoother.

 

Step-by-Step: The Fisting Technique

1. Start Small

Begin with one or two fingers and gradually add more.

Move at the receiver's pace-if there's discomfort, pause or slow down.

2. The Duckbill Technique

Shape your fingers like a "duckbill" (fingers close together, thumb tucked in slightly).

Slowly insert the hand with gentle pressure and a rocking motion.

3. Listen to the Body

Every body responds differently-some might accommodate more quickly, others need time.

If there's pain or resistance, stop and reassess comfort levels.

4. Going Deeper-If It Feels Right

Once inside, pause and let the body adjust.

Keep communication open-some enjoy gentle movements, others prefer a still presence.

If moving deeper, allow natural relaxation rather than forcing.

 

Safety & Aftercare: Respecting the Body

Fisting requires care and attention both during and after the experience.

Understand Limits: Stop immediately if there's sharp pain or discomfort.

Avoid Injuries: If there's excessive stretching or minor tears, take a break and let the body heal.

Hydration & Rest: After fisting, drink water and give the body time to recover.

Emotional Aftercare: Whether through cuddling, a check-in conversation, or a shared laugh, emotional connection is just as important as physical care.

 

Fisting for All Genders: Pleasure Beyond the Binary

Fisting is an inclusive practice-every body can enjoy it in different ways:

Vaginal Fisting: The vagina is highly elastic, but gradual stretching over time makes the experience more enjoyable.

Anal Fisting: Since the anus has different muscular control, extra patience, relaxation, and prep are necessary.

 

Why Fisting is More Than Just a Kink

Beyond the act itself, fisting is a deeply intimate experience that challenges traditional ideas of penetration and pleasure. It is an intensely physical and emotional journey, capable of reaching new levels of sensation, connection, and release. For some, it can bring about an almost meditative, trance-like state, where deep trust and surrender allow the body to experience pleasure in ways that extend beyond traditional penetration. It's about:

Trust and connection between partners.

Exploring limits and boundaries safely.

Celebrating the body's abilities and sensations.

 

Final Thoughts: Take Your Time & Enjoy the Ride

Fisting isn't about rushing-it's about patience, trust, and shared pleasure. Whether you're just starting out or already familiar, the key is safety, communication, and lots of lube.

Go slow, stay aware, and always communicate with your partner. Surrender to the intense feelings and let your body open up to reach new levels of sensation. And most importantly- enjoy!